“A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.“ ~Alexandre Dumas (1802-1870)

 

The single most important key to success, sustenance and growth in ANY area of your life is this:

Championing YOURSELF.

If you aren’t sustaining your self and your own needs, if you’re not feeding the hungry parts of your own being and treating yourself with respect, dignity and support then I’m here to tell you, loud and clear.. what you have going on there is a case of neglect.

Let’s get this straight right off the bat:

Self compassion is not selfish, it’s imperative.

Self compassion is not self indulgence..

And while we’re at it, let’s also be super clear that healthy doses of self indulgence are not the evil spawn of a self-obsessed Chucky doll.

When it comes to being our number one support act, it has nothing to do with being superficial or self-centred.

In fact, the opposite is true..

A good, solid, healthy sense of self, ensures we are genuinely able and available to help others, without feeling stretched and stressed to the max.

Think about this, if throughout each day you regularly told the people who look up to you, the ones that turn to you for support and validation.. things like this:

You’re no good at anything ..what an idiot you are.. what were you thinking..nobody will want to listen to you, buy your product/art/book.. gees you’re so stupid.. I’m sure everyones talking/laughing about you… you’ll never make it like he/she has.. gosh you’re so old/fat/skinny/ ugly/stupid/dumb/hopeless/sensitive/weird/useless.. you shouldn’t bother trying in the first place.. etc etc

Can you see the slumped shoulders, the self doubt, the hurt, the anxiousness, nerves and timidity that would hang around their shoulders like a cement weight?

And yes, that’s exactly what’s happening to that amazing, magnificent, hopeful person who’s listening to everything you’re saying to them..

Everything, you say to yourself, you hear, everything you throw at yourself, you bear the brunt off, every put down and doubt you shove your way, you put on and wear like uniform for a school called fail.

Now wait a minute.. don’t take this as another reason to beat yourself up. No.

Take stock, wake up and replace the bindis with roses, better yet plant only things that will grow you without any thorns..

Remember this..

When you realise a mistake and you learn from it and move on it’s no longer a mistake, it’s a lesson and lessons are good. They help us improve and grow stronger and move onward.

So forget anything you’ve been (wrongly) advised or had drummed into you about self-support being selfish.

That advice was untrue scramble.. unfortunately told to you by folk who were too scared to care for themselves and sadly believed they had to teach you the same thing.

Time to be a hero baby! YOURS.

You won’t believe or recognise yourself and your world when you start to champion yourself.

This means being there and telling yourself the right things, encouraging yourself the way you do others that you care about.

If you did something majorly silly or unfortunate, be kind and learn from it.

Don’t treat yourself any different to your best friend, your child, your partner or a much loved sibling.

Champion, encourage, sympathise, support and be fair. Most of all give yourself good advice and don’t be a bully.

At the end of the day.. tell yourself ‘Hey good on you sunshine, you sure gave it a good shot out there’

Life is challenging enough, make sure you’re on your own side in the playground.

Turn the key.. you’re waiting..it’s the most fabulous, powerful door you’ll EVER open.

Grab this..

and turn this…

 into this..

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” ~ Mark Victor Hansen