You owe no apology…
Being different doesn’t make you wrong or stupid. It makes you, YOU.
And that’s exactly who we need you to be.
You owe no apology, you require no permission.
You came here to be you.
Unique,
Original,
YOU
Own your life.
Live out loud.
Forward we go,
Dr Lynika
#liveyourlife #blogger #newblogpost
You’re not broken, you’re wounded and therein lies your key.
Being ‘broken’ is a sadly common phrase, too easily picked up and worn like a final statement.
The truth is you’re not broken. You’re wounded. And realising this makes for more self compassion, more recognition of the places that need healing.
And ultimately realising you’re wounded instead of broken, gives you the key to knowing what you need right now, right here, this moment and then the next.
Being wounded offers a trail instead of a dead end.
It offers hope instead of finality.
And most of all it offers validation for the things you have faced and are facing.
When something is ‘broken’ it’s no longer of use, it usually means discarding and finality.
When something is wounded, it warrants care and tending.
It invites understanding, support, hope and patience. Most importantly from yourself to yourself.
The key is in owning the wounded self, it’s in hearing what that self needs and where it needs it most.
In time the wound becomes the key that leads you out.
I see you.
Keep going.
You matter.
Live out Loud
Contrary to what most have been told, championing and believing in yourself is your birthright, and the key to successful living…
Successful living?
You might ask ‘what is that?’
Well let me assure you, it involves much more than just surviving this life…
It means living it with all your callings and passions pursued and relished.
Life is in the living.
This moment right here, right now? It’s not a draft; it’s the real deal. Don’t waste a minute more.
You want to saturate yourself in your life, live in all your bones with all your heart.
This means being on your own side, talking with respect to yourself, it means listening to what your ‘self’ is telling you, and caring deeply, with priority, about those wants, passions and needs.
This person that you are, the human that you came in to be, that person is at your mercy, treat them well, with dignity, respect, encouragement and belief.
Know you are worthy and start living it….
Everything else is conditioning, everything else is someone else’s agenda.
And remember, living a self-empowered life means helping others along the way, who have forgotten.
When they stumble over the self-denigration minefield, put out your hand and remind them, tell them; they are worth the push it will take them to stand back up.
Never underestimate how much this world needs you to be good to yourself so you can inspire yourself and others, toward an authentic, full life.
Self-esteem is not a dirty word.
But putting yourself down, not believing in the immensity of who you are?
That is foul play.
And you rob this world of the light you came in with… and that is the real you, not the filter others and you have placed on yourself. Clean the lens!
Be who you are and be damn proud of it.
We are all wise enough to know this isn’t about an over inflated ego… it’s about gutsy, show up for yourself honour.
Let that stuff shine.
Dr Lynika Cruz
Your Story Matters
Stories are bridges where we can meet, a light for those walking behind us on the path, and our legacy to the world. Your story matters. Dr Lynika Cruz
Honour that.
No matter who you are, no matter how strong, there are times even the fiercest parts of you need to take rest.
Know that retreating to give yourself time takes courage in itself.
Any who push or scorn you for your absence are not your tribe.
Fix your oxygen mask first.
Own and champion your life my friend.
It’s called a ‘feed’ make sure you are fuelled by it instead of becoming the ‘feed’ and sacrificing your wellbeing to project an image that isn’t aligned with your current needs or truth.
It’s not a race, don’t compete, CREATE.
Sometimes what you need to create is space so you can fill again.
Take care of your amazing, unique self.
– Dr Lynika Cruz
So don’t beat yourself up when you’re going through some of the less enjoyable bits…
Life is a medley.
No matter what you do there will be easier and not so easier times.
What matters is that you back yourself.
24/7 you have your human self to care for.
Treat that being with integrity and respect.
Your self care impacts the whole world for the greater good.
It makes you a whole being who by proxy gives permission and inspiration for others to do the same.
Take care of yourself and shine on my friend
Presence and an open mind
If we take a breath and pull up a seat, we find that most of what scares or stalls us holds great alchemy.
With presence and an open mind we often find that what we fear is simply waiting for us to listen and receive insight.
Adversity, fear, ‘dragons’ are there for the taking, to transmute into self healing, self empowerment.
“I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”
Live while you’re alive, right now this moment, this one and the next, these moments are your life.
Live in all your bones, don’t settle for someone else’s version of you or your life.
Live that amazing self out loud.
“When it’s over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it is over, I don’t want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real. I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”
-Mary Oliver
“A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.“ ~Alexandre Dumas (1802-1870)
The single most important key to success, sustenance and growth in ANY area of your life is this:
Championing YOURSELF.
If you aren’t sustaining your self and your own needs, if you’re not feeding the hungry parts of your own being and treating yourself with respect, dignity and support then I’m here to tell you, loud and clear.. what you have going on there is a case of neglect.
Let’s get this straight right off the bat:
Self compassion is not selfish, it’s imperative.
Self compassion is not self indulgence..
And while we’re at it, let’s also be super clear that healthy doses of self indulgence are not the evil spawn of a self-obsessed Chucky doll.
When it comes to being our number one support act, it has nothing to do with being superficial or self-centred.
In fact, the opposite is true..
A good, solid, healthy sense of self, ensures we are genuinely able and available to help others, without feeling stretched and stressed to the max.
Think about this, if throughout each day you regularly told the people who look up to you, the ones that turn to you for support and validation.. things like this:
You’re no good at anything ..what an idiot you are.. what were you thinking..nobody will want to listen to you, buy your product/art/book.. gees you’re so stupid.. I’m sure everyones talking/laughing about you… you’ll never make it like he/she has.. gosh you’re so old/fat/skinny/ ugly/stupid/dumb/hopeless/sensitive/weird/useless.. you shouldn’t bother trying in the first place.. etc etc
Can you see the slumped shoulders, the self doubt, the hurt, the anxiousness, nerves and timidity that would hang around their shoulders like a cement weight?
And yes, that’s exactly what’s happening to that amazing, magnificent, hopeful person who’s listening to everything you’re saying to them..
Everything, you say to yourself, you hear, everything you throw at yourself, you bear the brunt off, every put down and doubt you shove your way, you put on and wear like uniform for a school called fail.
Now wait a minute.. don’t take this as another reason to beat yourself up. No.
Take stock, wake up and replace the bindis with roses, better yet plant only things that will grow you without any thorns..
Remember this..
When you realise a mistake and you learn from it and move on it’s no longer a mistake, it’s a lesson and lessons are good. They help us improve and grow stronger and move onward.
So forget anything you’ve been (wrongly) advised or had drummed into you about self-support being selfish.
That advice was untrue scramble.. unfortunately told to you by folk who were too scared to care for themselves and sadly believed they had to teach you the same thing.
Time to be a hero baby! YOURS.
You won’t believe or recognise yourself and your world when you start to champion yourself.
This means being there and telling yourself the right things, encouraging yourself the way you do others that you care about.
If you did something majorly silly or unfortunate, be kind and learn from it.
Don’t treat yourself any different to your best friend, your child, your partner or a much loved sibling.
Champion, encourage, sympathise, support and be fair. Most of all give yourself good advice and don’t be a bully.
At the end of the day.. tell yourself ‘Hey good on you sunshine, you sure gave it a good shot out there’
Life is challenging enough, make sure you’re on your own side in the playground.
Turn the key.. you’re waiting..it’s the most fabulous, powerful door you’ll EVER open.
Grab this..
and turn this…
into this..
“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” ~ Mark Victor Hansen
Remember this, it’s what you do with the words after someone has spoken them to you that counts.
That’s where the true power lies.
You are the sole person who gets to say if they’re true and to take them into your life.
I’m here to tell you, it’s not true that you are unworthy of love. It’s a story, but it’s not true. It’s actually a lie.
And most of all, most imperative of all is loving yourself. Gosh, so much has been said on self-love that you may initially wince when you read those words.
I’m not a mushy kind of person. I’ve been new-aged to death like everyone else. But the truth is, REAL self-love is not some soft-coated, flowery coat you put on with affirmations in the pockets.
Real self love is strong, gutsy, ballsy, respectful, take-no-prisoners energy towards yourself that shows up in your life as courage, dignity, repeated-resurrection, humility, compassion, humour and down to the bones living.
As Hemingway said: “A man can be destroyed and still not be defeated’
You can get knocked down by someones words, the song was wrong, sticks and stones can hurt your bones and words CAN also hurt you!
BUT, massive clause here, don’t you leave it at that. No sir! You get back up, smack those words off like dust and remember the truth, sure some sucker can come along and knock you off your chair for a moment but you remember who you are, remember that ballsy self that doesn’t hand over life and truth to someone who thinks it’s okay to knock you.
YOU’RE the driver of your life, kick anyone out who tries to climb up in the rig and grab the wheel. They can get back in their own truck and deal with their own speed bumps. You’ve got a road you’re on and a journey to make. Love the person at the wheel, they’re gonna take you places you never imagined possible, you just have to remember they’re there and don’t let anyone get between you and that kind of love.
That’s one place that belongs to you, one love that won’t leave you high and dry. Period.
~ Lynika