“Don’t judge any man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins” ~ Indian Proverb
Today I want to also remind you not to be so judgmental on yourself. You are doing the best you can, trying in a crowded world to hear your voice and find or stay on your path.
Be kind to yourself. Remember just as your words and judgements can cut another down, you too can be struck numb or dumb by your own self battering.
Pick yourself up instead, acknowledge how far you’ve come and don’t forget to say regularly, ‘good on you’ to yourself and mean it.
We come home to ourselves at the end of every day, best make it someone you like, someone you care for, someone you’re going to listen to.
You’re with yourself for life, the one person who won’t leave you, so make sure you notice and say ‘well done cheer champ, you’re a bit of alright!’ and… mean it!
You, you’re worth your own respect and reward 🙂 ~ Lynika
“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.” ~ Allen Ginsberg
“There are great blessings that come from times of poverty and hardship.
Learning the value of little things, the immense happiness that comes from the smallest kindness; the precious worth of a smile, a warm meal, shelter, interaction, the feeling of being wanted, loved..
Hardship offers us the chance to truly understand the things that truly matter in this life.
When we hold still long enough to see the gifts in our adversity we drop the added shackles we’ve attached to it.
We become lighter, more compassionate and wise. Gratitude becomes our dear companion who holds us up and helps us see the edge of light in every shadow.” ~Lynika
“A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.“ ~Alexandre Dumas (1802-1870)
The single most important key to success, sustenance and growth in ANY area of your life is this:
Championing YOURSELF.
If you aren’t sustaining your self and your own needs, if you’re not feeding the hungry parts of your own being and treating yourself with respect, dignity and support then I’m here to tell you, loud and clear.. what you have going on there is a case of neglect.
Let’s get this straight right off the bat:
Self compassion is not selfish, it’s imperative.
Self compassion is not self indulgence..
And while we’re at it, let’s also be super clear that healthy doses of self indulgence are not the evil spawn of a self-obsessed Chucky doll.
When it comes to being our number one support act, it has nothing to do with being superficial or self-centred.
In fact, the opposite is true..
A good, solid, healthy sense of self, ensures we are genuinely able and available to help others, without feeling stretched and stressed to the max.
Think about this, if throughout each day you regularly told the people who look up to you, the ones that turn to you for support and validation.. things like this:
You’re no good at anything ..what an idiot you are.. what were you thinking..nobody will want to listen to you, buy your product/art/book.. gees you’re so stupid.. I’m sure everyones talking/laughing about you… you’ll never make it like he/she has.. gosh you’re so old/fat/skinny/ ugly/stupid/dumb/hopeless/sensitive/weird/useless.. you shouldn’t bother trying in the first place.. etc etc
Can you see the slumped shoulders, the self doubt, the hurt, the anxiousness, nerves and timidity that would hang around their shoulders like a cement weight?
And yes, that’s exactly what’s happening to that amazing, magnificent, hopeful person who’s listening to everything you’re saying to them..
Everything, you say to yourself, you hear, everything you throw at yourself, you bear the brunt off, every put down and doubt you shove your way, you put on and wear like uniform for a school called fail.
Now wait a minute.. don’t take this as another reason to beat yourself up. No.
Take stock, wake up and replace the bindis with roses, better yet plant only things that will grow you without any thorns..
Remember this..
When you realise a mistake and you learn from it and move on it’s no longer a mistake, it’s a lesson and lessons are good. They help us improve and grow stronger and move onward.
So forget anything you’ve been (wrongly) advised or had drummed into you about self-support being selfish.
That advice was untrue scramble.. unfortunately told to you by folk who were too scared to care for themselves and sadly believed they had to teach you the same thing.
Time to be a hero baby! YOURS.
You won’t believe or recognise yourself and your world when you start to champion yourself.
This means being there and telling yourself the right things, encouraging yourself the way you do others that you care about.
If you did something majorly silly or unfortunate, be kind and learn from it.
Don’t treat yourself any different to your best friend, your child, your partner or a much loved sibling.
Champion, encourage, sympathise, support and be fair. Most of all give yourself good advice and don’t be a bully.
At the end of the day.. tell yourself ‘Hey good on you sunshine, you sure gave it a good shot out there’
Life is challenging enough, make sure you’re on your own side in the playground.
Turn the key.. you’re waiting..it’s the most fabulous, powerful door you’ll EVER open.
Grab this..
and turn this…
into this..
“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” ~ Mark Victor Hansen
Remember this, it’s what you do with the words after someone has spoken them to you that counts.
That’s where the true power lies.
You are the sole person who gets to say if they’re true and to take them into your life.
I’m here to tell you, it’s not true that you are unworthy of love. It’s a story, but it’s not true. It’s actually a lie.
And most of all, most imperative of all is loving yourself. Gosh, so much has been said on self-love that you may initially wince when you read those words.
I’m not a mushy kind of person. I’ve been new-aged to death like everyone else. But the truth is, REAL self-love is not some soft-coated, flowery coat you put on with affirmations in the pockets.
Real self love is strong, gutsy, ballsy, respectful, take-no-prisoners energy towards yourself that shows up in your life as courage, dignity, repeated-resurrection, humility, compassion, humour and down to the bones living.
As Hemingway said: “A man can be destroyed and still not be defeated’
You can get knocked down by someones words, the song was wrong, sticks and stones can hurt your bones and words CAN also hurt you!
BUT, massive clause here, don’t you leave it at that. No sir! You get back up, smack those words off like dust and remember the truth, sure some sucker can come along and knock you off your chair for a moment but you remember who you are, remember that ballsy self that doesn’t hand over life and truth to someone who thinks it’s okay to knock you.
YOU’RE the driver of your life, kick anyone out who tries to climb up in the rig and grab the wheel. They can get back in their own truck and deal with their own speed bumps. You’ve got a road you’re on and a journey to make. Love the person at the wheel, they’re gonna take you places you never imagined possible, you just have to remember they’re there and don’t let anyone get between you and that kind of love.
That’s one place that belongs to you, one love that won’t leave you high and dry. Period.
~ Lynika